ON SEEING THE 100% PERFECT GIRL ONE BEAUTIFUL APRIL MORNING
by Haruki Murakami
One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo’s
fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.
Tell
you the truth, she’s not that good-looking. She doesn’t stand out in
any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still
bent out of shape from sleep. She isn’t young, either - must be near
thirty, not even close to a “girl,” properly speaking. But still, I know
from fifty yards away: She’s the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I
see her, there’s a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a
desert.
Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl -
one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you’re
drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I
have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I’ll
catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I
like the shape of her nose.
But no one can insist that his 100%
perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses,
I can’t recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can
remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It’s weird.
“Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl,” I tell someone.
“Yeah?” he says. “Good-looking?”
“Not really.”
“Your favorite type, then?”
“I don’t know. I can’t seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts.”
“Strange.”
“Yeah. Strange.”
“So anyhow,” he says, already bored, “what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?”
“Nah. Just passed her on the street.”
She’s walking east to west, and I west to east. It’s a really nice April morning.
Wish
I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about
herself, tell her about myself, and - what I’d really like to do -
explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing
each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in
1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like
an antique clock build when peace filled the world.
After
talking, we’d have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop
by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in
bed.
Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart.
Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.
How can I approach her? What should I say?
“Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?”
Ridiculous. I’d sound like an insurance salesman.
“Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?”
No, this is just as ridiculous. I’m not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who’s going to buy a line like that?
Maybe the simple truth would do. “Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me.”
No,
she wouldn’t believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk
to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you,
but you’re not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found
myself in that situation, I’d probably go to pieces. I’d never recover
from the shock. I’m thirty-two, and that’s what growing older is all
about.
We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass
touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I
can’t bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in
her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp.
So: She’s written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night
writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could
contain every secret she’s ever had.
I take a few more strides and turn: She’s lost in the crowd.
Now,
of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have
been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it
properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.
Oh, well. It would have started “Once upon a time” and ended “A sad story, don’t you think?”
Once
upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the
girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially
beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely
girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts
that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the
100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that
miracle actually happened.
One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.
“This
is amazing,” he said. “I’ve been looking for you all my life. You may
not believe this, but you’re the 100% perfect girl for me.”
“And you,” she said to him, “are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I’d pictured you in every detail. It’s like a dream.”
They
sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour
after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found
by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and
be found by your 100% perfect other. It’s a miracle, a cosmic miracle.
As
they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in
their hearts: Was it really all right for one’s dreams to come true so
easily?
And so, when there came a momentary lull in their
conversation, the boy said to the girl, “Let’s test ourselves - just
once. If we really are each other’s 100% perfect lovers, then sometime,
somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and
we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we’ll marry then and there.
What do you think?”
“Yes,” she said, “that is exactly what we should do.”
And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.
The
test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They
should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each
other’s 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever
met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were.
The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.
One
winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season’s terrible
inluenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost
all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as
empty as the young D. H. Lawrence’s piggy bank.
They were two
bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting
efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling
that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven
be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to
transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of
sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even
experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.
Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.
One
beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day,
the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to
send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along
the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They
passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam
of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their
hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew:
She is the 100% perfect girl for me.
He is the 100% perfect boy for me.
But
the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no
longer had the clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they
passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.
A sad story, don’t you think?
Yes, that’s it, that is what I should have said to her.